My mother-in-law gave her grandkids ipads, jewelry, and cash except my daughter….

She wasn’t included in matching Christmas pajamas. She would sit quietly during family events while the other grandkids were doted on. Lorraine would call Maddie her little princess, buy Jonah his favorite sports gear, and then hand Ziya a plastic toy or a book she clearly never looked at.

Ziya noticed. Kids always do. I tried to explain it away.

I told Ziya that grandma was just forgetful, that she loved her in her own way. But every year, it got harder to justify. At Thanksgiving, Lorraine gave each grandchild a personalized plate with their name painted in gold.

Ziya’s seat was set with one of the extras from the back of the cabinet. That night, Ziya whispered to me, Maybe she thinks I’m just visiting. I didn’t know what to say.

Travis heard it too. He didn’t speak up, but I saw his jaw clench. That was the first time I thought maybe he was starting to see it too.

Still, we kept showing up. I told myself it was for the bigger picture. For family unity.

For tradition. For Ziya to grow up with cousins and holiday memories. I told myself love didn’t need to be proven with gifts or matching pajamas.

But deep down, I was lying to myself. I was staying quiet because I didn’t want to be seen as the problem. I didn’t want to make Travis choose between his mother and me.

And every time I swallowed my hurt, I convinced myself I was doing the right thing for Ziya. That being the bigger person would teach her something important. But I didn’t realize it was teaching her that being treated as less was something we had to accept.

Travis and I argued about it more than once. I would bring it up in quiet, exhausted voices after Ziya had gone to bed. He would say he noticed, but didn’t know how to handle it.

He didn’t want to hurt his mom. I asked him, What about Ziya? He would nod, promise to talk to her eventually, then go silent again. By the time this particular Christmas rolled around, I was emotionally worn thin.

I had packed matching outfits for the kids. I brought extra cookies to share. I wrapped thoughtful gifts for everyone in the family.

I told myself this year might be different. But something inside me had changed too. I was no longer hoping for approval.

I was watching. Waiting. Preparing for the moment when being quiet would no longer be the kind thing to do.

And that moment came faster than I expected. It was the way Lorraine smiled as she handed Maddie a brand new iPad. How she kissed Jonah’s cheek before handing him a thick envelope of cash.

Then she turned to Ziya, handed her a lavender candle and said, Didn’t want you to feel completely left out. That was when I looked at Travis. He didn’t speak.

He didn’t blink. But something in his face shifted. And that’s when I knew he hadn’t forgotten what he told Ziya months ago…